Random tables inspired by Amon Amarth

Random tables taken verbatim from the lyrics of Amon Amarth.

TITLES

1. Guardian of Asgard

2. Son of Thunder

3. Walker on the Wind

4. Deceiver of the Gods

5. Father of the Wolf

6. Master of War

7. Protector of Mankind

8. Destroyer of the Universe

EVENTS

1. Heimdall gazes east; a sail has caught his eye

2. A rain of arrows darkens the sun

3. Unknown creatures howling to the sky, blood chilling and ravenous

4. A cold blue light shimmers ahead

5. Racing across the arctic lands, a mounted legion

6. Twilight of both gods and men

7. The weaving Norns sing

8. Night comes crawling, black as sin

9. Muspel's fire is set free

10. The warlord breaks the temple doors

11. An oath, once sealed in blood

12. The serpent rises from the waves

13. A golden bridge shines in the dark

14. Bolts of lightning fill the air

15. The dreadful serpent roars in pain

16. The great world-tree Yggdrasil trembles to its roots

17. A vicious hunt on through the night

18. Two kings bring lethal steel

19. The dead rise from their graves and Surtur spreads his fire

20. The Fimbulwinter has arrived

OBJECTS

1. Severed limbs and heads

2. Invisible frozen chains

3. Tattered banners and bloody flags

4. Scattered fires glow

5. A horrid ship of dead men's nails

6. One thousand heads are on display

7. Grotesque creatures of the sky

8. Axes, spears, and swords

9. Heimdall's horn

10. Storm of lethal flames

Lusus Naturae

I am happy to announce that Lusus Naturae, the spiritual successor to the Teratic Tome, is now crowdfunding on Kickstarter.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/rafaelchandler/lusus-naturae-a-gruesome-old-school-bestiary

Lusus Naturae ("freaks of nature") is a hardcover compendium of horrific monsters for old-school role-playing games, and it will feature face-melting artwork by +Gennifer Bone.

I would be most grateful if you could help spread the word.

\m/
-- Rafael

#lususnaturae #teamscaphism

Roll For Initiative, 2/15/14

ADX - Ultimatum

Aborted Fetus - Private Judgment Day

Crematory - Antiserum

Scythia - ...Of Conquest

Soreption - Engineering the Void

Roll For Initiative, 2/9/14

Coprocephalic - Gluttonous Chunks

Extermination Dismemberment - Serial Urbicide

Kreator - Phantom Antichrist

Spawn of Possession - Incurso

Thy Art is Murder - Hate

Lacerations of the Slain Priestess

When our world was struck by the cosmic phenomenon known as the Blastbeat, everything changed. Distorted mutants walk the streets, and dragons soar through blood-red skies.

The fanatical evangelists who now run our country have created an army of robotic drones who police us with cyber-technology, like shining gears in the proverbial machine. Corporate surveillance satellites monitor our every move.

There's only one thing that can save us: Metalheads. Born in the aftermath of the blastbeat, Metalheads are wandering murderhobos armed with strange weapons and magic, defending people against censorship, pollution, racism, nuclear war, and a theocracy built by religious zealots who want to impose their conformist views on the world.

From Devil's Island to the Quarters For the Criminally Insane, from the Belly of the Beast to the Sanitarium, Metalheads crawl through 21st-century dungeons (office buildings and strip malls) in search of glory, treasure, and violence.

Lacerations of the Slain Priestess is a reskin of Lamentations of the Flame Princess. It uses dice. It goes well with beer.

Written by Rafael Chandler. Illustrated by Claudia Cangini, Cliff Roth, Gennifer Bone, Metalhead, and Will Towles. Scheduled for release around Easter 2014.

Black Metal Adventures

 

This would be a fun approach:

The player characters are like a black metal band. One of those crazy outfits from Scandinavia who burn churches and worship Satan.

The villagers hate these guys. They want them dead. So every chance they get, they tell the adventurers, "I heard there's gold in that cavern. Ogres? Easy killing for a bunch of warriors like you."

And they hope that this is it, that this is the end of those violent bastards. Always talking about treasure and magic weapons, delving into ancient crypts, stirring up long-forgotten ghosts and demons, making trouble for all the hard-working people who do what they're supposed to do, who sweat and toil and pray like decent folk.

Because the adventurers have skills. They have swords and armor and they can curse you or blind you or throw magic fire at you or put you to sleep. They can make you like them and obey them -- against your will. They are witches and fiends, and they are to be shunned and feared. In a world with very little magic, people who can practice sorcery aren't admired, they're freaking horrible and scary.

They also need to die, because if they become powerful, they could kill the village elders and take over -- or even raise an army against the royals and take over the country!

Thus, the villagers are very helpful. "Here's some torches, and some rope. What? No, no, your money's no good here, you take it. Go on, have fun exploring those catacombs. I hope you find some gold!"