Random tables inspired by Amon Amarth

Random tables taken verbatim from the lyrics of Amon Amarth.

TITLES

1. Guardian of Asgard

2. Son of Thunder

3. Walker on the Wind

4. Deceiver of the Gods

5. Father of the Wolf

6. Master of War

7. Protector of Mankind

8. Destroyer of the Universe

EVENTS

1. Heimdall gazes east; a sail has caught his eye

2. A rain of arrows darkens the sun

3. Unknown creatures howling to the sky, blood chilling and ravenous

4. A cold blue light shimmers ahead

5. Racing across the arctic lands, a mounted legion

6. Twilight of both gods and men

7. The weaving Norns sing

8. Night comes crawling, black as sin

9. Muspel's fire is set free

10. The warlord breaks the temple doors

11. An oath, once sealed in blood

12. The serpent rises from the waves

13. A golden bridge shines in the dark

14. Bolts of lightning fill the air

15. The dreadful serpent roars in pain

16. The great world-tree Yggdrasil trembles to its roots

17. A vicious hunt on through the night

18. Two kings bring lethal steel

19. The dead rise from their graves and Surtur spreads his fire

20. The Fimbulwinter has arrived

OBJECTS

1. Severed limbs and heads

2. Invisible frozen chains

3. Tattered banners and bloody flags

4. Scattered fires glow

5. A horrid ship of dead men's nails

6. One thousand heads are on display

7. Grotesque creatures of the sky

8. Axes, spears, and swords

9. Heimdall's horn

10. Storm of lethal flames

The Bayon, a Cambodian temple

Move Rate magazine

Lusus Naturae

I am happy to announce that Lusus Naturae, the spiritual successor to the Teratic Tome, is now crowdfunding on Kickstarter.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/rafaelchandler/lusus-naturae-a-gruesome-old-school-bestiary

Lusus Naturae ("freaks of nature") is a hardcover compendium of horrific monsters for old-school role-playing games, and it will feature face-melting artwork by +Gennifer Bone.

I would be most grateful if you could help spread the word.

\m/
-- Rafael

#lususnaturae #teamscaphism

Lara Croft, Dungeon Raider

Lara Croft was born into aristocracy, and was to be married into wealth. But a plane crash stranded her in the Himalayas, and there were no other survivors. Young Lara had to rely on her wits to stay alive. She discovered an ancient monastery, where she recovered an enchanted sword. Naturally, she touched the sword, unleashing powerful magics, and she barely escaped with her life.

After two weeks, Lara finally made her way to civilization, but realized that she wanted to go back. She rejected what was intended for her, and instead chose a different path: exploring dangerous tombs and recovering valuable treasures.

She faces puzzles. Some require calculated action (jumping to a specific location, climbing a certain wall to see what's atop it). To solve other puzzles, she must navigate mazes, time her movements carefully, find and pull levers, and locate keys or other items.

Running through the game level is ill-advised, due to numerous traps: spiked pits; giant boulders that drop from above, crushing Lara's body, walls that slide together, pulverizing anyone caught between them; and projectiles (arrows, blades) flung from holes in walls. Some traps inflict damage, and some are immediately fatal.

Along the way, Lara kills her enemies: men with weapons, wild animals, mummies, dinosaurs, skeletons, giant spiders, demons, gargoyles, wraiths, and dragons. Occasionally, she must use dangerous magics to defeat her foes and seize the gold.

Lara Croft is a murderhobo.

Look out, it's the weekend

The Zine Scene, #1

I recently picked up the first issue of Metal Gods of Ur-Hadad, which is compatible with Dungeon Crawl Classics.

It is most definitely Metal.

We start off with three pieces of setting info: The Metal Gods; Ur-Hadad, The First City; and Assassins of Ur-Hadad. All three are written by Adam Muszkiewicz. These writings tell us of the time before Metal, in the land of Ore: humans warred alongside Dwarven allies against the Elder Races. We learn of "bone ziggurats and calcified gardens." We are told of the nonexistent assassins of Ur-Hadad; the random table for assassin guild creation is pretty wild. Muszkiewicz follows that up with an article about mercenary life, written in-character by Captain Chogrun Versk.

Edgar Johnson contributes Street Kids of Ur-Hadad, an adventure that kicks of with a roll-all-the-dice generator for creating neighborhoods, and another one for the gangs. These tables are governed by rules that turn the entire experience into a mini-game. Since DCC is full of gonzo dice (d16, d24), you may need a die-roller app -- unless you've already got d14s on hand.

[Noteworthy: the majority of proceeds from PDF sales of the zine go to StandUp For Kids, a secular and nonpartisan organization. Pretty damned decent, if you ask me.]

The adventure itself is a funnel (described as a "meat grinder") designed to cut the number of PCs down to a more manageable figure. Judging from the Just Another Day in Ur-Hadad table, I'd say it'll work.

The zine is illustrated by Wayne Snyder, who worked on Jack Shear's Devilmount; the images are all quite kickass and metal. Snyder wraps up this issue with Cave of the Maggot Witch, a one-page dungeon with instructions on how and when to plug it into an existing campaign.

When all is said and done, this is true Metal. You can pick it up here:

http://www.kickassistan.net/p/metal-gods-of-ur-hadad-zine.html

By the Power of Grayskull!

Roll For Initiative, 2/15/14

ADX - Ultimatum

Aborted Fetus - Private Judgment Day

Crematory - Antiserum

Scythia - ...Of Conquest

Soreption - Engineering the Void

Blasphemous Rituals

"The Sorceress" by Jan van de Velde II Click to create a random summoning ritual.

Mad Scientist Encounters

MAD SCIENTIST GENERATOR Roll 4d6, or scroll down and click on the Create button to generate a mad scientist encounter! 1 A half-demon necromancer wants to create the perfect spouse for a ravenous ghoul. However, this can't be done until one final material component has been found. 2 A demented magic-user is trying to craft a living weapon from an infected hobgoblin. Unfortunately, an angry mob is en route, armed with torches and pitchforks. 3 The blood-soaked druid wants to combine a carrion crawler with a blind beholder. Though this attempt will succeed, it will accidentally open a hell-gate to Ghorom. 4 A gnomish steam-wizard seeks to transfer her consciousness into an assassin's corpse. Sadly, the process is flawed, and will instead produce a cascade of liquid fire. 5 This idealistic cleric hopes to cure the contagious illness of a dying orc priestess. It works, but it also summons Basatan, the sadistic God of Crabs. The deity demands tribute. 6 An ambitious acolyte wishes to access the repressed memories of a maimed queen. This experiment has attracted the attention of an aboleth, which has sent spies.

Roll For Initiative, 2/9/14

Coprocephalic - Gluttonous Chunks

Extermination Dismemberment - Serial Urbicide

Kreator - Phantom Antichrist

Spawn of Possession - Incurso

Thy Art is Murder - Hate

Lacerations of the Slain Priestess

When our world was struck by the cosmic phenomenon known as the Blastbeat, everything changed. Distorted mutants walk the streets, and dragons soar through blood-red skies.

The fanatical evangelists who now run our country have created an army of robotic drones who police us with cyber-technology, like shining gears in the proverbial machine. Corporate surveillance satellites monitor our every move.

There's only one thing that can save us: Metalheads. Born in the aftermath of the blastbeat, Metalheads are wandering murderhobos armed with strange weapons and magic, defending people against censorship, pollution, racism, nuclear war, and a theocracy built by religious zealots who want to impose their conformist views on the world.

From Devil's Island to the Quarters For the Criminally Insane, from the Belly of the Beast to the Sanitarium, Metalheads crawl through 21st-century dungeons (office buildings and strip malls) in search of glory, treasure, and violence.

Lacerations of the Slain Priestess is a reskin of Lamentations of the Flame Princess. It uses dice. It goes well with beer.

Written by Rafael Chandler. Illustrated by Claudia Cangini, Cliff Roth, Gennifer Bone, Metalhead, and Will Towles. Scheduled for release around Easter 2014.

World of the Lost

I'm working on a new adventure for Lamentations of the Flame Princess. It's called World of the Lost, and it's going to be fun!

Central Africa, 1551. The metalworkers of Awka rise in prominence, even as the Kingdom of Nri declines. Every year, the Awka who dwell in the shadow of the Great Plateau deliver their tribute to the gods that dwell there.

To acquire this treasure for themselves, the adventurers must face great beasts like the gbahali, mokele-mbembe, and the kholomodumo. Then they must brave a dungeon where memory is an illusion and time is a weapon. No sane person would ever attempt this. But a thousand years of tribute paid in silver... Obviously worth it!

World of the Lost is an adventure for characters levels 1-4, featuring wilderness adventure, dungeoneering, new spells, new magic items, and very old monsters. The module is accompanied by an MP3 soundtrack that provides the Referee with necessary information during play.

The only way to get a print copy of my upcoming 48-page adventure is to back the new indiegogo campaign from Lamentations of the Flame Princess!

Starship Generator

This is based on the text of my book, The Starship From Hell. Click to generate a random starship.

Collective nouns

We all know about a pride of lions and a murder of crows. What about fantasy monsters?

A royalty of griffins
An astonishment of unicorns
A mystery of displacer beasts
A crown of dragons
A thunder of umber hulks
A shiver of drow
A scuttle of kobolds
A rattle of skeletons
A dirge of wights
A squirt of green slimes
A growl of owlbears
A snarl of gnolls
A mask of mimics
A squirm of carrion crawlers
A stench of otyughs
A glory of wemics
A sight of beholders
A cackle of harpies
A cyst of demons
A hiss of displacer beasts

NPC Encounter Generator

NPC ENCOUNTER GENERATOR Click to generate a random NPC encounter for a hex crawl.

Orc Generator

ORC GENERATOR Click to generate a random orc breed.

The Tullianum

The Tullianum was a prison in ancient Rome, located beneath the Comitium (large meeting space).

A circular chamber built of stone blocks, each layer projecting over the one beneath, the Tullianum was a conical structure described by Sallust (earliest known Roman historian with surviving works) as follows: "repulsive and terrible on account of neglect, dampness, and smell."

The only way in was via a hole in the ceiling. Jugurtha, King of Numidia, was tossed down the hole and later died of starvation.

The Tullianum wasn't a jail as we know it, but instead a place to store your captured enemy leaders until the time came to parade them around and let your citizens jeer at them. They lobbed a few other people down the hole too -- Christian martyrs, people who were going to testifying against defendants later on, that kind of thing.

‪Vercingetorix‬, who led the Gauls in revolt -- then surrendered to Caesar by taking off his armor and sitting at Caesar's feet -- spent a few years in the Tullianum before being brought up for the Walk of Shame ("Boo! Look at him! Boo! Hail Caesar!"). Then ‪Vercingetorix‬ went back down into the Tullianum and got strangled, which was a pretty standard method of execution.

OGL Magazine

The Grognard Magazine Collection